Every time I pounce onto something new, some achievement, or if I meet someone new, I feel tremors deep into my skin till the bones. I am not really comfortable to new. New surroundings. However, it does not mean i am unwelcoming to new. It is like when you are a guest, and nachos with Mayo is served, you don’t jump into the servings at one go. Rather you take time, select single nacho, shyly refuse when asked to take more.
It just takes a little longer than most people to adjust to new.
1st of July was my first day at work, straight out of college. First job, an experience that is first of its kind. And God knows I was nervous to the core. I suddenly felt like a GIANT. A GIANT with giant feet, giant body. Huge. So huge that I needed to make my movements as noiseless as possible. And be as careful as possible, so that I didn’t break anything around me. Heck, I was minding every little footstep, as I suddenly felt so heavy that I might break the floors down, and bring the entire office building down to debris. It was my fourth glass of water within first 30 minutes of entering the building. And it wasn’t even hot, specially when I was sitting inside a centrally air conditioned premises. Each sip of a size of 200 ml, to ease down my breathing cycle.
And as if I was not nervous enough, the formal wear, and those leather shoes made it a point that there is no scope left for my embarrassment. The shoes! Oh god the shoes, they creaked, and made loud squishy noise while I was following my Human Resource executive through the entire building.
It was introduction time for the new duckling in the squad. I was walking around all the floors meeting new faces, new names and designations that you would only hear on the televisions! Who knows how long it took for the lady who was taking me around, to learn all those names!
All these feelings were wrapping and choking my throat, despite the fact that just across my room sat someone, more like an elder sister, who had known me since my childhood! I wonder how many mini strokes I would have already had, if she was not there to pass those casual smiles and small talks to keep me talking and ease off the nervousness.
I am pretty sure my soul was gasping for air, like when your swimming trainer forcefully puts your head down into the water, when you are new to waters.
While I was going through all these feelings, the time came, for the official professional uber pro tasks. Office ID that had an RF-ID chip to mark attendances, a mobile phone with a new mobile number for office business, a corner of the room which is now going to be my work space.
There is something I should tell you about this mobile phone. It is a Nokia, some primitive model. I can imagine the devilish laughter of the management when they would have picked these tiny little blue creatures, that have no SD card, no camera, no data connectivity, forget about the Bluetooth and an MP3 player. All it has is a FM Radio player, and just for some extra fun, no ear-phones!
Suddenly I feel my shirt pocket heavier. I took a look. It had 4 ball point pens, a handkerchief, the tiny mobile phone, and the ID card crying for help for some space of its own. What the hell was I doing with 4 pens!! I guess, being over precautions was what it was. For not looking like a klutz that I am.
The moment the clock struck 6 pm, that’s when I took my first full breath of the day! Phew! Day 1 over!