See you soon.

I am going to meet you up there, soon, oh believe you me, very soon.

I am going to ask you, why you screwed up, soon, yes, very soon.

You better have answers to why you thrust pain. Is it because of your small ego, everyone’s worship to gain?

Do you really think, you are getting away, from your own Karma? Do you really want to pull off your game, call it all Dharma?

With all your big words on love and peace and harmony, all fake, all just hollow. You really think you will enjoy your cushions in heaven, while grief is what I swallow?

The evil lives on. The devil dances infront of your eyes. What use are you of, witnessing all that’s happening? Have you got no shame? Seeing you silent on it all, is deafening.

I am going to meet you up there, soon, very soon.

You better have answers, why you screwed up, and made me look like a fool, a loon.

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Chaos

I hear the electricity passing through the wires, beneath all the cemented wall,
The ticks of the wall clock amplified, synchronized with my pounding heart.
Its one. Or probably two. The concept of time doesn’t make sense anymore, at all,
I’ve left this body in the hands of present, while pendulum-ing between future, and to where it did start.

There are questions. Tougher than the last time. There is grief. More hurting than the last time,
There are floods of emotions, and loss of soul, and anger and fury and so much more. Much more than the last time.

As the fingers move on to next word, poor keys on the board bear the burden of my pain,
My legs move slowly, or my head, is it my head that’s spinning faster than it should, I can not make the difference anymore.
Its numbness, overall, in general, all over, and confusion and chaos, being tied next to the barn, thinking about a grand escape from my slain, but in vain,
I rest here now, with palms folded, to whoever above listens. Give me reason to believe in you, damn you, give me reason to have faith furthermore.

There must be a reason, as a part of Your grand plan, they say. Oh now, but, is there?
Show some honour, show some respect. Show that you care, show that you hear. Show that there is love, show that it wins. Show me why you messed up, how things from here would spin!

Last mile

Standing there, right there, in front of me,
In front of me, in that crowded hall, that’s when I first saw you.

Oblivious to my presence, you kept mumbling,
Mumbling a song, and tunes, when you’d forget the words and added  new.

You tried to look sharp, oh but I could see,
I could see how you fought the sweat, and the nervousness, yet looked pretty, oh! What a view!

Two summers, two winters, and in between twice of each seasons have passed,
Twice of each seasons have passed, over 700 days have gone by, but how did we happen? I’ve got no clue.

It is not a story written in the heavens but on this very Earth,
On this very Earth, where the platter of our being is garnished by thorns, we less knew.

I am sure, oh yes I am sure, I tell you my pretty soul, there’s more,
There’s more, to this story, more to us, more left in us to fight for the stories we drew.

One last lap, left to run together, hold my hands,
Hold my hands, let’s walk that last mile, ’cause the ones up above know, I love you too.

sil

 

Read more poems at Poetry Category!

​Day-23rd: I’ll be Fine!

I woke up late today. Leisures of sunday as you know! It is a bright sunny winter morning. I walked up to my balcony and took out one Marlboro.
Eyes half open and with little shivering I absorbed the heat from every puff I was smoking and began to plan out how I am going to spend the rest of my day. I received a call from this girl I had met a month back asking me out for a movie. I was not in the mood. There was a subtle sadness in the wind today. Or maybe it was just my half opened eyes unable to see clearly. Nevertheless I rejected the offer making some lame excuse. I wanted to spend the day with myself even if it meant stressing out the whole day surrounded by a pool of crappy thoughts on how boring the life has become now!

It’s been 2 months I shifted in Pune and despite all the happening aura I had heard about I was just not able to get in sync with it.
I finished my 3rd cigarette and went to take a hot shower. I am used to boiling water hitting against my skin burning all the stress and reminding me of the stone I have become. I decided to wear loose cargos and a black sweatshirt. Totally my stuff you know!

Grabbed my wallet and keys, locked my flat and switched on the thought transmission from my brain. This little devil loves to be the pain in my arse by constantly feeding me with totally u related thought streams and compelling me to pick any one and then be lost in it. Time flies, thoughts are the drivers for my time!
I went to nearest Starbucks and was wondering what I shall order. Coffee for sure but which one? Its been 2 years and yet am unable to figure out their menu and products. I wonder if they are the grand illusionists or I am blindingly dumb.
I started to regret the rejection I made to this girl for a movie. But, fuck it. Who cares. I took my order and went out to smoke a puff or two.
I was about to lit it that I forgot.

It was time for my medication. 

I hallucinate a lot.

She came smiling sweetly giving me those bitter pills and kissing me on cheek. 

You will be fine. I love you“, she said and I finally came out of my visions.

DAY-19th : Getting late!

I do not remember how or when I found myself stranded on this land. I am not even sure if this is an island or just a remote part of some landmass. My lower back hurts a little towards my left ribcage and there are a few bruises on my knee as well. So far I am able to walk properly but the back does hurt sometimes with shootings of pain leaving me groaning with discomfort for next ten minutes. For God’s sake why can’t I remember anything? It is like until today’s morning everything has been swept clean and erased completely. There is not even a figment of imagination left to recover from the traces of my memory bank. Nevertheless, I shall plan what to do next!
I feel hunger slowly trying to gush out its frustrated lava in my stomach. Let’s see what I can find out. I think my lower two ribs are broken. God! Where the hell to find a doctor in this forsaken land? It seems to be late afternoon. I think whoever left me or however I came here, I surely have lost all my belongings assuming I did have some ever!  I think I shall follow this soothing wind flowing towards east. I can feel the freshness when it blows past my worn out face. I need a shower I guess. It stinks. Have I been on a bathing fast? I can’t stop from humoring myself especially when in a few hours I will be praying that there are no man eaters on this island. Oh wait! It’s coming! I see a room with LCD TV and a couch, navy blue in color. I can recall the scenes from this movie, very gruesome ones, I guess yeah, Cannibal Holocaust! That’s the name. Thank god! Well, that was a good start. Out of all the things that could have happened in my life before landing here, Mr. God why would you make me recall scenes from that movie? Han?  I quickly begin to walk towards east arming myself with thick branch that fell off this tree. I guess I am not a botanist because I do not recognize the vegetation here. There is pin drop silence around me, not even birds flying over my head or hiding behind the thick bush there. I just hope I find some help.  

After walking a mile or so I find a small pond. At last I can quench my thirst but it hurts to bend down. I think I shall sleep for a few hours. I already feel exhausted. No food only water yet! But I have to keep walking. I can’t trust this unknown land. Searching for food I don’t want to end up between somebody’s canines with my red water serving as wine for their dinner. What is this sweet smell? Hmm! Fruits ripening somewhere close. I love the fresh mangoes. I think I’ll save a few more before I start looking for shelter. Sun will set in the next hour or so.

 It all sounded like I am living a typical movie plot right now with a guy left stranded on a remote island and learning to survive but no! I just woke up, brushing my teeth and trying to remember scenes from the dream last night. It felt so real that I woke up looking for bruises in my knee and softly probing my lower back for any broken bones! Time is running and am getting late for office. Lets pack up!