Where to find joy?

The world is running across all its length and breadth, through all the verticals, seeking guidance from every other self claimed or media crowned God Man, Guru or Yogi, for one single word, a single bouquet of emotions – for happiness.
We all are trying to find happiness in our own different ways, be it from a job that we dearly want, or a salary package that we think will suffice, or visiting shivirs where someone can teach us how to stay in bliss or by waking up at 5 to breath in and out infront of a television. But before running the rat race, did we really understand what happiness is? Unless we define what something is, how do we know the path to attain it?
It is like visiting a shop, and looking for something randomly. You might put plenty of stuff in your cart, without being sure what was it, that you really needed. In an attempt to put everything in the cart, you may or may not receive the product of real utility. Only, now, you have another additional task, to segregate the useful from the tons of useless.
Wouldn’t it be better to have the exact name of the utility, go to the exact aisle, pick only what you need, and Bill and get out?
Hence the need to understand what we seek arises. Happiness, joy, bliss – it all comes down to just one set of feeling, where you truly are at rest and alive full of energy at same point of time. You bodily functions are smooth and there is a serene calm feeling from within. A feeling from within, is the point to be taken home. Till we understand that the feeling of joy is from within, all the efforts put towards attaining it from external sources is futile.
The answer to the question, “what makes me happy?” Has always lied within. It is the system, the education system and the social laws around that have forced us to take the longer, tougher and pseudo intellectual path of Logic.
If I ask you, what is 4 times 8, would you reflexively reply with 32, or would you start adding 4 to itself for 8 times, to reach 32?
That’s is what logic is doing to us. For things to which we already know the answer to, we are seeking a formula, a derivation or an equation to reach to.
Coming back, I ask again, “what makes you happy?”. Take a moment right now. This very moment. Whatever that you are doing, at this very instant, is it keeping you in a comfortable state, or are you cringing while doing it.
For example, if you’re interacting with a person, is the conversation giving you a sense of development and a feeling of comfort, or is it keeping you in the edge of your seat, and a notion of running away far far away the moment he turns his back?
There it is. That’s your answer. But what is it actually that we are doing? Suppressing something that could keep us at peace, and rather, binding ourself to the uncomfortable situation. Now it might seem like a trivia. I mean, how is talking to this person for these 10 minutes going to hurt in the long run?
You need to understand that every action that we are creating is creating ripples. So by spending those pressurized moments, you have affected your spirit negatively. Now each subsequent hour, you continue to “adjust” , “compromise” or in other words “try to be logical and practical” you must understand that you are basically compromising with your own happiness.
So if you chose an option to sacrifice it, why do you seek the answer to how to be happy? While it’s that simple. Do what keeps you comfortable. So what really is adding to your joy. Stop the Bollywood act of sacrifices and the system hyped concept of taking the logical route for all answers.
So if you continue compromising with your pleasure, for subsequent hours, and weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, the mathematical function to this is not simply additive. It hold a multiplicative effect. The anti-joy rises exponentially. It hence takes a toll on not just your spirit, but starts showing on your body. Your poor state of health. Your sleep disorders. Insomnia, anxiety, and above all, the newly marketed business of depression.

Unless you choose what keeps you happy, how do you think you will be happy. A very simple technique that works for every situation is the famous flip the coin technique. You flip a coin, assigning two options to it. Head- option A, Tails – option B. Once you flip the coin, now no matter which side the coin lands, your inner self has given you the answer to what you really want.
Going by your intuition is perhaps going to be the happier choice. And going by which side the coin landed upon, is your logic speaking. Ironical, isn’t it? Putting your faith on a coin, and still calling it logical?

New Document.

Whenever I sit down on my laptop, usually there are many files open out in front of me. The unfinished business from previous night. The document files open, and the cursor still blinking in front of that last sentence.

I woke up on 1st July 2015, at an hour of the day I never thought I would be able to wake up at, 6 am. I rubbed my eyes, and blinked them for a couple of times, metaphorically, like the cursor at the end of the line. I wanted to hold on to that moment, for very soon, I would be starting on with a New Document in life.

Many times, there is a thick yet invisible line that parts you from your past and future. The present. The reason why this line is drawn thick, is because it is here, upon this line, that we take decisions, that shall leave marks, and blots that shall be visible in the future.

I was about to begin with my new document. But unlike every other day, when I chose to not go through the previously opened files, today I planned on visiting those words, one last time, before I started with the new beginning.

It is funny how when someone once meant the world to you, is now a stranger, in some other part of the world, and the face is no longer what you remember, only the moments shared is what lies behind. And then when you least expect it, when you are at an all time low, miracles happen and lift you up, and you find people who know your worth, and value your words. My studies of engineering were not just a 4 year course at a University, it was a journey, an experience, and more like a workshop on how to live life.

And now, just when I started getting comfortable with a lifestyle that gave me a new perspective and a feeling of joy in life, I need to move ahead with a new chapter. A career, job, and professionalism, they were waiting to pounce on to me like an excited pet.
Here I stood, on that line, on the fence that differentiated the green path that lied behind, and the unknown land, covered in mist, that I would need to walk on to ahead.

A start of the day, full of unsurety.

Hyderabad : The First Couple of Days.

If you have lived in Delhi for over 5-10 years, you might know the existence of Compressed Natural Gas powered vehicles. You get accustomed to the cleaner, less polluted air. The “greener” air. So why am I being some nature huger and talking about the CNG gas?

26th May 2014, 2 pm, Secunderabad Railway Station : Something was wrong. Something in the air. Eyes started getting irritation. And the pollutants in the air made it harder to breathe. The southern state of India, Andhra Pradesh is petrol powered. Yes. That was the first impression of Hyderabad I got. Just as any other place, a buzz of auto-rickshaw drivers came into my ear. Everyone yelling at top of their lungs to just pull you into their “ride” and take you to any place you want at of course at a rate obviously higher than the legitimate one.

I had gotten into a summer internship at International Institute of Information Technology, which is situated at Gachibowli, Hyderabad. So about 26 kilometers from the railway station was the place where I was going to stay for the next 2 months.

“B.Tech admissions” – Moment of Life and Death for Engineers!

Finally I got through ONE engineering college! It was 1 am when I received a call from my girlfriend, ” PRABHAAAAASSS!!! You got through Jamia!!! ” I couldn’t believe what she said! After 5 months of failure, could there be a moment of joy? Finally? I quickly closed all my tabs from Facebook and other ” not-so-important-stuff” and typed www.jamiahamdard.edu to check out if I had really made it! And there it was! Roll number 18879! That 5-digit number was me! I got through an engineering college. I scrolled down only to realize that not only did I make it into an engineering college, but also got the subjects of my choice that too in Delhi as well! Suddenly the sun started shining upon me at 1 in the night!
First thing I did? Again logged on to my Facebook page and sent a notification to all my friends about my moment of success! After that I dialled my uncle’s number, waking him up from his slumber and crying out loud ” Chacha! I did it! I got through Jamia! I am going to be an engineer! ”
Finally I realized that I hadn’t told my parents yet! The next thing I remember is my whole family up by 1:45 am in the night, with big bright smiles upon their faces! Tiwari’s had finally produced an engineer! First engineer! Boy! What a proud feeling that was! Adrenaline rushed all over me, and mind stopped working! I took out my cell phone, dialled a 10-digit number and cried, ” yes! yes! yes!! Yes I did it! And I love you a lot! Your boyfriend is not going out of Delhi anymore and 4 years later, this boy would be an engineer! “. Yes! That was my girlfriend. But what I realized on turning around was the faces of my parents!! Did I just used the 3 letter sentence in front of them? I really did!
But that did not seem to be a matter to anyone!
Another middle class family lit up at 2 am to figure out that after 4 years, their lives would be changed! An engineer would come out of the womb of a nationally credited A-grade university from Delhi itself! Everything was too small in front of that, even ILY!
Today when my father and mother meet one of their colleagues or old friends, their chest proudly swell to speak out “ humara beta engineering kar raha hai! Jamia se! ” ( Our son is pursuing his engineering from Jamia! ). And that is the moment I tell myself, “yes, i was no fool! I did make my parents proud finally. After series of failures in IIT AIEEE GGSIPU JMI, my time did come at last! ”
For any aspiring engineer, the day of his call at an engineering college is the best day of his life ( or should I say best night in my case! )

Love you papa, mummy and P for being there and supporting me. For believing in me!
Take care all! Signing out! B’bye!